Motherhood

33 years of age am I...I was 32 when I gave birth to Ruben and 31 when my Mother died of collon-cancer.

I never thought of motherhood but I knew instantly that I would be a mother some time, for sure.

Now, 33, Ruben came into my life, I see more of my Mother in everything I do. It kinda hurts when the little man is looking at me frowning and all, it is like my Mom is looking back at me.

Motherhood is beautiful but not being able to share it with Mom, is just painful.

Many tears I have cried when my Mom died, everyday I went to the funeral center and I just stayed close to her coffin. I remember my oldest brother noticed my crying and he tried to comfort me with the words -It is better now, at least she is without pain-.

Ofcourse I knew that but knowledge that my Mom would never be able to see my children, thát knowledge just ripped my soul apart.

I cried when we carried her coffin and I just broke when her coffin was lowered down in her grave.

I left Mom at the graveyard...and it always just felt like that...and then two years later I returned with my son.

Motherhood...I understand my Mom's pain and I am thankful for the things she gave me in life. A neverending love!

Thanks Mama!